I can’t!

This is the most common reply you get when you ask for something from someone. You have also experienced yourself saying those exact same words to someone if you don’t believe in yourself for completion of a task. Here is a very inspiring story of how beliefs shape our actions:

A man was walking through an elephant camp, and he spotted that the elephants weren’t being kept in cages or held by the use of chains. All that was abstaining them from escaping the camp was a small piece of rope tied to one of their legs.

As the man stared at the elephants, he was completely baffled as to why the elephants didn’t just use their might to break the puny rope and escape the camp. They could easily have done so, but instead, they didn’t try to at all and were simply standing, basking in the morning sun.

Curious and wanting to know the answer, he asked a trainer nearby about the elephants and their unwillingness to escape the camp. The trainer smiled and replied:

“When they are very young and much smaller, we used the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe that they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The only reason that the elephants weren’t breaking free and escaping from the bond was that over time they adopted the belief that it just wasn’t possible.

If you haven’t understood by now, WE are the elephants here and that one bad incident or memory is what stops us from achieving what we are meant to achieve.

Liberating yourself from obstructive beliefs which are forced upon by others or by our own minds is tough, for example; since childhood, every boy must’ve heard this “Do not cry, you’re not a girl.” Since then, it has been etched in their mind that they shouldn’t express their emotions freely which is obviously not true. In the movie Dear Zindagi, Dr. Jehangir spoke such a beautiful line about expression which is the ordeal of every broken heart:

“If you can’t cry openly, how do you expect to laugh openly?”

And when somebody tells you to emote, the only words that escape your lips are, I can’t.

Whether you say I can, or I can’t, you are right. Why? Because it is coming from your internal filters.

Now, this belief that ‘you can’t do it’ comes from various reasons:

  • You’re seeing the wrong picture at that moment.
  • You internal capability tells you otherwise.
  • You might not identify with the task.
  • You might be in an unfavourable environment.
  • You might have a memory that has scarred your belief.
  • You might be suffering from self -doubt.
  • You may want to avoid responsibility altogether.
  • You may actually not know how to perform the said task.

So, you must be wondering, how can you escape this vicious cycle of corrupt filters and revamp your belief system, because for learning new things, you first need to ‘unlearn’ what has been taught. Set yourself free from unconstructive beliefs forced upon you by others or by your own mind. Allow into this space a new-fangled reality with NLP. A programme that helps you be the better version of yourself each day.